The New 90210 is a Classless Skankfest and Tori Spelling is a Lying Famewhore

I once again hate talking about the stupid 90210 2.0. It like bothers me inside my heart. It kills me, in fact. And the more I hear about it, the more upset I get. I wish Aaron Spelling were still alive so he could put a ban on this crap. It's tearing me apart. And there is yet one more thing to add to my anticipated hatred. Entertainment Weekly posted a pretty interesting interview with former foes and co-stars Shannen "GOD" Doherty and Jennie Garth. The best bitch we knew and loved appears to have cleaned up her act. Now she's like all mature and shit, and that makes me upset. I miss the cigarrette-smoking, bitch-slapping, trash-talking, Rick Solomon-marrying Doherty. Not this proper, well-behaved, soft spoken chick. Who is the girl anyway?

But anyway, Doherty and Garth revealed some skankalicious 411 about the premiere of the 90210 remake. And this scandalousness is shit that wouldn't even appear in an ep of Melrose Place for crying out loud.

"All I know is there's a girl giving a guy a blowjob in the first episode," says Doherty.

"I thought, Aaron Spelling is rolling over in his grave right now," Garth reacts.

And EW also gets to the nitty gritty of Tori Spelling's not-so-best-selling memoir which I saw sitting on a table next to a rack carrying the Lauren Conrad Collection at the Kitson outlet store only two months after publication. So sad.

EW says, "In Tori Spelling's book sTORI Telling, she tells some pretty harsh stories about you, Shannen. Did you read the book?"

And the newly mature Doherty responded all properly, saying, "I will censor myself out of respect for Jennie because she's friends with Tori. I got passages sent to me and a vast majority of it is incredibly exaggerated. Maybe it's a difference of how I was raised. I just don't believe you write personal on-set experiences in a book. For me, when you work it's almost a sacred experience whether you get along with everyone or not. In 27 years of acting I've never sold out one of my cast members. Ever. And I will stick to that."

Tori is pathetic. We all know she was a bitch of her own right in those days. But she felt like selling out her former co-stars was a good way to make a buck. Note to Tori: nobody cares about your stupid book or the stupid drama you have to recount by living vicariously through people who had a far more exciting life than you!

Some Skanks Will Never Learn

Who in hell's name let Audrina Patridge walk out of the house looking like that (see above)? Awhile back, I posted a different photo of Audrina's spaced-apart breasts looking like shit. But this one surely tops 'em all! There's a lil sumthin called "proportion," Ms. Patridge. When you are size 00, you should not be trying to sport them DD's. And even moreso, you should not be trying to fit them DDs into an XS bikini top. This oblivious ho needs to get her boobs redone. They don't look good, sweetie!

Ugh, I need to finish this post and publish it, because the longer I am forced to look at this gawd-awful photo, the more angry I am increasingly getting by the minute!

The Olympics Have Severly Inconvenienced Poor J.Lo's Hopeful Comeback

What was Michael Phelps thinking? Did he really have to go and score those 8 gold medals at the same time that the artist formerly known as J.Lo is trying to make headlines as she trains for the 22nd Annual Malibu Triathlon?

I'm sure nobody else cares, but Diva Lopez is effing pissed! Who does this Olympian Phelps guy think he is?!?! While he is busy swimming in water, doesn't he know that Lopez walks on it? Psh...

An insider on the set of Good Morning America--the show Jenny From Da Blizock appeared on yesterday to talk about her training--told MSNBC's The Scoop that J.Ho thinks her matters are far more important than "that swimmer."

The source said Jenny "couldn’t come up with Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer."

Sorry to burst J.Ho's bubble butt, but with Phelps in the picture or not, the former Fly-Girl's however many minutes of fame are up--and pretty much have been, following her marriage to that nobody named Marc Anthony. Sorry biatch!

America Ferrera Don't Give a Sheeit About Gossip Girl

We'll let the clip speak for itself. I think America Ferrera is a wee bit peeved that people care about Gossip Girl more than Ugly Betty. It's okay, America, thanks for giving us this clip to laugh upon.

This Whole Paris Hilton/John McCain Thing Has Gone WAY Too Far!

You have got to be kidding me! Apparently, in wake of the ridiculous FunnyOrDie.com spoof that Paris Hilton did to mock John McCain's ad campaign commercial, the slutty heiress is now creating "Paris for President" T-Shirts. The skank-soaked tees will be sold at Kitson, naturally.

This is so dumb. Seriously, I watched that original ad campaign that McCain aired. It had images of Hilton and Britney Spears for a whopping .5 milliseconds. In fact, I missed their "appearance" the first time I watched. Not to mention, they are placed in the ad at the time McCain says the words, "most famous person in the world." So it's not even an insult to the two girls. But being the publicity-whore--and just plain whore in general--Hilton of course had to make a HUGE deal about it--even going so far as to have her mother Kathy write a ranting blog on Huffington Post. Like really? Seriously? Who the eff cares? Wouldn't you idiots be flattered that your candidate of choice used you in one of his campaigns? It's not like you heard anything out of the mouths of Spears or her camp. Because in the big scheme of things, who the eff cares?!

Not to mention, who on Earth--especially in LA--is actually going to walk around donning something that says "Paris for President" ? Give me a break!

The 20 Ugliest Celebrities

Lyle Lovett, Donatella Versace, Tori Spelling, the guy from The Pogues pictured above? Who's your pick for ugliest celebrity? 

Oddee.com posted their Top 20 list of ranky-rank celebs. And I have to say they did quite a nice job with their pickins. I agree with all, except they need to take Rosie O' off the list and replace her with one of two key players: Rumer Willis or Fergie! 

Welcome to TV-Hosting Suckville, Population: 2

MTV has always graced television viewers with the cheesiest, most obnoxious entertainment correspondents ev-er. With the exception of Carson Daly (bless his dear has-been soul), I can't think of one MTV VJ or person associated with that effing channel that I can even mildly tolerate. Ugh. But this just topped it all. I decided to watch The Real World: Hollywood Reunion--and aside from the plain fact it wasn't juicy at all, the suckage was topped off by this dingbat Lyndsey Rodrigues hosting the show, with the help of King of the D-Bags, Carlos (don't know his last name, but he was awful). This idiotic Lyndsey chick is definitely a looker (not gonna lie, she's hot), but she could not remember a single Real World character's name to save her life. She kept screwing up--and she also came off as a huge biatch--and not to mention, in typical MTV fashion, she was just plain and simple annoying [gag me please].

Then you have this tool Carlos chatting it up with Real World fans outside of MTV Studios in Times Square, addressing RW character Joey with a "very important question." "We have a very personal, serious question to ask you, Joey. You may not want to answer it, and that's okay. But we just have to ask." Oh, heavens. What could this question be? "How do you get your hair like that?" [laughter ensues] -- [faux laughter, that is.]

Gawwwd, I can't wait till I get my shot at hosting. I'll show deez hoooeeezzz how it's done ;-)

In the meantime, check out MTV's atrocious disaster right here

Good Morning!

GREETINGS, everyone!!! While I spent my weekend agonizing over the feud between Spencer Pratt and Mary-Kate Olsen, I hope all of you were enjoying your air-conditioned-induced work-free days.

As for me, I just wanted to give a lil shout to the VH1 Blog. Why? Well, they're the first major blog to link to one of *my* stories. Remember that Mizz Na'Tasha item I posted in regards to her gracing the cover of Smooth magazine? Well, I never realized it'd be such a success! So much so that it grabbed the attention of the VH1 Blog. So three cheers for a first step in getting The Platinum Pen noticed by the "big wigs." haha

Okay, moving on.... how much do I freakin hate (sorry, my mom always tells me I should only reserve the word hate for Hitler and a couple losers I used to know--but I really hate songs. I really, really do) L.A. radio? One would expect L.A. to have wonderful radio stations, right? Ugh, couldn't be more wrong. Every channel I click, I am lead to the same freakin songs. And let me just say on the record, I don't care how damn popular it is, but I hate that song "Bleeding Love." Ugh, it's always on. And it's soooo annoying. I want to stab the radio everytime it comes on. Not to mention, L.A. radio (mainly KIIS-FM--gawd, and even Power 106) still feels the need to play "Sexy Can I" by Ray J. Can we say OVER it?! And lastly, "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne. Just strangle me, why don't you. Oh wait, and how can I forget the worst ??? "Bye Bye Bye," by Mariah Carey. OMG. Sorry yall. It's Monday, I'm tired, irritable, need my coffee.

BUT... on a much more relieving note, good news: To those who are over mainstream L.A. radio (minus good 80's r&b/dance stations like 93.9 and 102.3), I have turned to an alternative music source. When I am in my car, I'll still try to dig through radio stations, in between balancing the music on my CDs. But now when I am at home, I will opt to listen to iTUNES radio. I've actually been doing this for about 5 years, but I go through phases of time in which I listen frequently, and I go through phases of my station of choice. Station of the moment? Radio Danz . It's all dance music--mainly house-ish type stuff--and it's always fun and lively. You can make song requests from the station's playlist, and you are allowed up to 2 per hour; and provided that the song hasn't been played in the previous 3 hours, your requests will be played in no more than 15 minutes. You can also add songs to the station's playlist by emailing danz@radiodanz.com . Anyway, I strongly suggest giving this station a listen. I've been listening to it all the time, I've discovered so many new songs from the station, and I just wanted to spread the word. :-)

ENJOY YOUR DAY, EVERYONE. I promise to make more posts this week. Once again, I apologize for the shortage last week.

Ice-T: The Only Hip-Hop Artist to Still Keep it Real?

In this money-hungry world we live in, it seems like people will do anything or work with anyone if it means making a buck or scoring a mag cover. Rapper/actor Ice-T, most notoriously known for his back-in-the-day banned-from-airplay jam “Cop Killer,” is the first Old-Skool artist to finally take a stand against these so-called “rappers” who are ruining “hip-hop.”

Sounding off on DJ Cisco's Urban Legend mixtape, the hip-hop legend says, “Fu*k Soulja Boy! Eat a dick! This ni*ga single handedly killed Hip Hop. That sh*t is such garbage man. We came all the way from Rakim, we came all the way from Das EFX, we came all the way from motherfu*kers flowing like Big Daddy Kane and Ice Cube, and you come with that Superman sh*t? That sh*t is garbage. Hurricane (Chris) take them fu*king beads out of your hair ni*ga! Man up. You ni*gas is making me feel real fu*king mad about this sh*t.”

It’s about time someone speak-up in defense of real hip-hop. Sure, these ridiculous “artists” like ‘Soulja’ and ‘Hurricane’ may be good for Top-40 Radio airplay or for a popular spin for a DJ at a nightclub, but it evokes a sense of true anger in me when I meet people and we start talking music and they have the *nerve* to suggest the like “rap” or “hip-hop,” when it clearly could not be further from the truth. It’s not even so much the mainstream issue, as it is the issue between the hip-hop/pop gray area. Sure, Paul Wall and T.I. may be VERY mainstream, and a few of their songs may get KIIS-FM (for example) airplay, but when it comes down to it, those artists are still considered “rap” to me. They rap about real issues and real things—just sometimes with a mass-appeal-aimed-style. Soulja Boy’s shit isn’t even comprehendible. What the hell is he talking about? I think people automatically classify any black artist who pops out a record with “danceable” jams, as a hip-hop/rap artist. Not the case.

More people need to stand up for the hip-hop genre like Ice-T, instead of collaborating with these so-called “artists,” just to get a little more noticed. Because quite frankly, is $$ really worth credibility? In the long-run, probably not.

People Magazine's Hottest Bachelors of 2008: Where Do They Come Up With These People?!

Ignore his umm...package for a sec. I know, it's difficult, but anyway, Mario Lopez was voted "Hottest Bachelor of 2008" by People magazine. Okay, Mario Lopez, fine. Good looking guy, in great shape (obvi), charming I'm sure. But once you see the *other* names on this so-called "hottest" list, you won't be the least surprised that Lopez was the winner--in fact, you'll be grateful.

It makes me sad to thank I am living in a world where Frankie Delgado (who the eff cares?!), Bret Michaels, Bryan Spears (?)--who knew the trainwreck had a BROTHER? (Okay, we all knew. but still, does anyone even know enough about him to even CARE if he's a bachelor?--and to call him one of the hottest???), some tennis player I've never heard of named James Blake, and Scarlett Johanasson's unknown brother--just to name a few, are all listed as the "Hottest Bachelors of 2008"

Amongst the Ryan Seacrests and Shia Le Bouefs of the world, I *know* this magazine could have done a little better.

Sounds to me like the mag has $$ deals with some very unimportant people.

The Celtics Won...Again--And Oh Yeah, I Still Hate the Lakers

Despite the fact that these stupid sporting events get me mildly intoxicated, reeking of cigarettes and alcoholic beverages I cannot recall--and force me to still go to work the next day at 6am--I still do find them fun. But some events are more fun than others. Like Superbowl Sunday is like fun because I can drink beer. fun. but nonetheless, how much do I *actually* care about Superbowl Sunday? [brace yourselves] NOT THAT MUCH. But basketball shit is different. It's fun. a) basketball games are actually exciting, and b) There's usually some teams that my family raised me to endorse.

This year, prime example. For one (I'm going to get shot for this), I've never been a Lakers fan. I will get to that in just one moment, but really, eff the Purp & Yellow. And for two, I've *always* been a Celtics fan (courtesy of my mom), so duh... of course I'm going to root for the Celtics. They were like always considered the "worst" team, so to see them shine--and to see them shine against the crap-ass-trendy Lakers definitely brings a smile to my face (except for at 6am, when baring a hangover courtesy of the latest championship series game).

So back to the whole Lakers thing. I feel like the Lakers possess two types of fans. Real fans (as every team does) and bandwagon fans. I don't think there's any basketball team on the planet that gets more props (and bandwagon love) than the effing Lakers. Yes, they are probably the most popular basketball team. But that's the problem. People think it's sooo cool to dig the Lakers. I guess when you see David Beckham, Jack Nicholson and Demi/Ashton (etc...) at all the games, there becomes a sense of appeal. But if *everyone* were *real* fans, I'd be okay with it. Like nobody gives a flying eff about the Celtics. Even my adorable little Boston-based cousin who I texted last night following the win, couldn't care less. But LAKER "fans" of course care. Everyone cares about the Lakers--because it's one more thing that makes them "L-A"--because it's trendy.

GO GREEN!

Whitney Port Sports the Only Decent Item in the Lauren Conrad Collection

It's old news by now that...well...LC's "clothing line" sucks. It's been hated on by some of the most influential fashion sites and connoisseurs. And aside from that, it's no secret to anyone with a pair of working eyes that the collection blows. It looks cheap, it's plain and it really didn't take any mastermind to work this line out--Not to mention she named all of the pieces after her friends, and even named one of her collections after her former favorite club (Les Deux). If this is what becomes of FIDM grads (or current FIDM students, as is in her case), then I'd just stick to reading, writing and arithmetic in a normal 4-year university, or just give up on the whole schooling idea altogether.

Luckily, however, one friend in LC's here today, gone tomorrow bunch managed to stay on the "designer's" good side for a long enough amount of time to have the only semi-stylish piece in the LCC named after her! Whitney Port, Lauren's co-working, drama-free P.I.C. looked smashing in this "Whit Dress" ($155), which is a part of Lauren's latest line, Beach Butterfly. But don't rush to Robertson Blvd just yet, folks, as this "Whit Dress" is the only worthy item in the load. I'll take my credit card to Mervyns, thanks.

Oh, Megan...You'd Be Such a Fox If...

Aside from the fact that the shoes just do NOT go with the rest of the ensemble (despite how you look at it), Megan Fox’s forearm adornment just doesn’t do it for me. How can someone try to pull off a hot pink Barbie-like dress and have some hugeass face permanently marked on their arm to accompany it? Sorry, she is totally seXXXy, but this looks tacky and does NOT make the cut in my book. Note to Fox: In the future, go with whatchya know!

Unfortunately, Not *All* Celebs Have Been Graced With Good Looks From Head to Toe

We've all heard (and probably used) the term "Butterface." You know, "everything's cute but 'er face." I know, it's sad, ain't it? Well don't shoot the messenger! I'm just passing on a little photo gallery our dear friends at TMZ assembled of some of the lesser hot Hollywood stunnaz. They may be rockin the six packs, but at least I can rest assured at night that I've got the hotter face. CHECK IT OUT!

Audrina Shows Off A Really Bad Breast Aug

Paging Dr. Rey!!!

Someone needs to rescue the Hills star from her terrible umm...chest. I am all for big, fake boobs and whatnot, but not big, fake, largely separated, weirdly molded ones.

Check out these after and before shots. Even Heidi Montag scored a better pair of fake jugs!

Mariah Lives Up to Her Diva Rep

It's funny. I just finished a posting about hating Gwen Stefani's fashion and music, but learning to respect her as a person and celebrity. Now, with this post, I'm going vice versa. Let's talk about someone who has (some) decent songs, has a pretty amazing (albeit annoying at times) voice, has o-k fashion sense, but happens to be far too much of a diva and bugs me so much that I don't think I can listen to her songs anymore. Okay, give up? Probably not, considering there is a pic of her right above this text. Anyway, Mariah Carey. What a freakin waste of talent. She just strikes me as the biggest bitch on earth. From the way she acts on stage at various performances, to the way she talks on live interviews.

But here's what really threw me over the edge. This week, Mariah's biggest competition Madonna released her album "Hard Candy," which got fabulous reviews. And Mimi, feeling o-so-inferior went so far to steal the spotlight from Madonna's week, that she went and eloped with boyfriend of like 3 weeks Nick Cannon. Oh, and all of this followed what occurred at the beginning of the week, which was Mariah flashing a huge rock on her finger--of course a huge publicity stunt. And yes, it got everyone talking. So much so that, in fact, people apparently forgot about Madge's album. Now don't get me wrong--Madonna is a diva as well. But she's much more subtle about it. And she's so composed and strong-minded. She has raised the perfect daughter, is in the perfect marriage, and she's never had a breakdown. So yes, of course I am going to be pissed when the Touch My Body singer tries to steal the spotlight from the Material Girl. And for the record Mariah, you may have come out on top with your media whoring, but guess what? The first two singles on your album suck, so we'll see who wins in the end.

Not a Change of Heart, Just a Different Outlook

So for what I'd say has literally been 50% of my life, I have had a very strong distaste for Gwen Stefani--and I haven't been shy about letting the world know. This began in 7th grade, but stood out especially in 9th grade when I was literally tormented because I hated Gwen. I had an Anti-Gwen webpage, an Anti-Gwen mailing list, and how can one forget: the infamous "NoDoubtSux@aol.com." Somehow, someway, all of the Gwen-a-bees (as I think they called them back in the day) from my school found all of my Anti-Gwen-ness on the web and it brought on war. I'm talkin mad dramz. The kind of dramz that goes down when you hook up with your friend's ex. I'm serious. But I stood my ground and stayed true to the fact that I HATED this woman.

Fast forward twelve years later...Gwen is still around, still wearing that weird ass shit she wears, and I still scowl everytime "Spiderwebs" gets a spin on the radio. Yes, I still hate all of her freakin songs (and Hollaback Girl, that DEF includes YOU!), but all music (and fashion)-related biz aside, I have to say I've come to (gasp) respect the lady. And no, not because she is daring with her style and music and blah blah blah. and unique and blah blah blah. Like I said, I still hate that shit. BUT...I respect her as a celebrity. She is never portrayed negatively, she appears to be a great, responsible mother, and she's managed to maintain a consistent marriage for quite some time. Which P.S. that Gavin guy actually seems pretty chill. I'd probably have a beer with him. Plus, his music totally OWNED the movie "Fear." But anyway, I can't hate on a woman who is responsible, who you never see hitting the clubs, and who stays outta harm's way. And quite frankly, in the world of the Lohans, Spears, Hiltons, and Winehouses, I definitely think that counts for something! So bottom line: I'm not going to use "hate" anymore when referring to Gwen.