Chelsea Handler--at it Again

This comedian never fails to entertain--especially when it comes to talkin Lohans. You must watch this clip. If you've ever seen even a snippet of Livin Lohan, you'll totally find yourself falling off of your chair laughter. Chelsea Handler's parody is to a TEE what the Livin Lohan show and characters are like.

And be sure to watch till the end. There's a guest appearance by a very "special" someone.

Platinum Pen EXCLUSIVE: The Hills is Even Faker Than You Think!

A Platinum Pen reader reveals to me exclusively that she spotted Lauren Conrad and cohorts on Friday, filming a scene for The Hills on location—on location of a set, that is. Yup, not only are the events and drama on the faux-ality show acted out, but even some of the locations are fake!

My source spotted LC in her black Mercedes in the parking lot of a lighting studio off of La Brea Ave. in Los Angeles. Apparently the parking lot had a fake traffic light set up and the idea was to impose Lauren in her car on the road, having a conversation with someone. Now it all makes sense. I always wondered how they managed to so accurately film those car scenes. Duhhh…because most of them are not actually on the road.

As I watch the updated preview for Season 4 of The Hills (which premieres Aug 18th, FYI), I pretty much assumed everything you see is fake. Although I have to wonder if LC’s crying scenes are real—either that, or she’s really mastered this whole acting thing to a tee. But then again, she does so much crying on the show that she’d have to have mastered that action by now.

Is Kim Kardashian Sacrificing Her A-List Club Cred For a C-List Reality Show?

We all know Kim Kardashian knows how to shake her (plentiful) groove thang at Goa, Villa and other A-List hotspots, but does the Armenian seXXX symbol plan to take her dancing skills outside of the nightclubs?

Helio Castroneves, winner of Season 5 of Dancing With the Stars was apparently overheard backstage at the ESPYs, revealing that Kimmy K. will be one of the celebrity contestants on this Fall's season of ABC's hit show.

Somehow, I do not believe this is true. If anything, maybe I could see Kris or Bruce Jenner polishing their dancing shoes for the C/D-List reality show, but definitely not Kim. Guess we'll have to wait till the Fall to find out!

Ali Lohan Loves Her Some Tranny Lips

An ever-gorgeous Ali Lohan graced television screens last night, with the debut of her made-to-match lipstick line: the Tranny Collectors Edition.

The lovely and talented Grammy award-winning vocalist displayed a flourescent shade of lip color that went identically with the hot pink top the famewhore wore on last night's episode of "Living Lohan."

And good heavens! For only being 14, Lohan already appears to be displaying facial expressions of cracked-outness just like big sis Lindsay!

SUCH a winning fam, I tell ya!

Welcome to TV-Hosting Suckville, Population: 2

MTV has always graced television viewers with the cheesiest, most obnoxious entertainment correspondents ev-er. With the exception of Carson Daly (bless his dear has-been soul), I can't think of one MTV VJ or person associated with that effing channel that I can even mildly tolerate. Ugh. But this just topped it all. I decided to watch The Real World: Hollywood Reunion--and aside from the plain fact it wasn't juicy at all, the suckage was topped off by this dingbat Lyndsey Rodrigues hosting the show, with the help of King of the D-Bags, Carlos (don't know his last name, but he was awful). This idiotic Lyndsey chick is definitely a looker (not gonna lie, she's hot), but she could not remember a single Real World character's name to save her life. She kept screwing up--and she also came off as a huge biatch--and not to mention, in typical MTV fashion, she was just plain and simple annoying [gag me please].

Then you have this tool Carlos chatting it up with Real World fans outside of MTV Studios in Times Square, addressing RW character Joey with a "very important question." "We have a very personal, serious question to ask you, Joey. You may not want to answer it, and that's okay. But we just have to ask." Oh, heavens. What could this question be? "How do you get your hair like that?" [laughter ensues] -- [faux laughter, that is.]

Gawwwd, I can't wait till I get my shot at hosting. I'll show deez hoooeeezzz how it's done ;-)

In the meantime, check out MTV's atrocious disaster right here

Tila Tequila: The Influential Mastermind Behind the Legalization of Gay Marriage? She Seems to Think So

Tila Tequila may be a lot of things—slutty piece of tatted-up trash and star of a really bad faux-ality show—just to name a couple. But history maker? I think not.

The classless hot mess appeared at yesterday’s premiere of “The Love Guru” in Hollywood and told reporters, “[The legalization of gay marriage] is because of me — I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, ‘Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.’ The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal.”

Uh huh, yeah, okay, because *everyone* takes her show *so* seriously—not to mention the fact that it’s not even a show about gays. It’s about bi-sexuals—and it’s all fake.

Someone needs to tell the hoe not to flatter herself, and that the chances of her show actually having influenced anyone’s decision to allow Gay Marriage is about as likely as the chances that Heidi Montag’s public McCain endorsement will help him win the Presidential election.

Douchebag of the Year's Upcoming Reality Series Sounds Like A Rip-Off Of Douchebag-ette of the Year's Upcoming Reality Series...

Looks like Brody Jenner is following in the footsteps of the ever-glorious Paris Hilton with her show, "Paris BFF." Check out the Press Release for "Bromance," Brody Jenner's upcoming MTV reality show. This sounds EXACTLY like Hilton's show. Gawd, I'm so over these idiots. f*&k me. Snooze button. now.

MTV PRESENTS… “BROMANCE”

A BROMANTIC COMEDY FROM EXECUTIVE PRODUCER

RYAN SEACREST THROUGH HIS RYAN SEACREST PRODUCTIONS BANNER & “THE HILLS” STAR BRODY JENNER

Network Has Made A 6 Episode Commitment

Santa Monica, CA – June 10, 2008 – ‘Bromances’ are taking Hollywood by storm. With their extreme sports adventures, witty banter and ultra cool parties; these super close celebrity male friendships are the envy of guys everywhere. “Bromance,” is a non-scripted series that will take a group of regular guys from around the country and bring them to Hollywood to have a “Bromance” with “The Hills” breakout star, Brody Jenner. In the end, Brody will befriend one guy and invite him to become part of his entourage. MTV has made a 6 episode commitment.

Unfortunately, in Hollywood finding the perfect guy you can trust and chill with can be just as hard as finding a girlfriend. Brody will have the “bros” compete in various group and individual activities that will test their trust, reliability and compatibility to determine who truly belongs in his inner circle. From skydiving into Las Vegas, to dealing with the Paparazzi, to being his wingman, each episode will feature one “group date” and the always important “alone time” with Brody. Throughout the series, the pool of “bros” gets smaller as contestants get eliminated in the “Hot Tub elimination ceremony,” where rejected “bros” will be asked to leave the bachelor pad, dripping wet, wearing a swim suit with luggage in hand. In the end, the winner will take home an incredible prize package, move out to Hollywood and secure a spot as the newest member of Jenner’s entourage.

“‘Bromance’ takes a successful TV format and turns it on its head in an irreverent way that would only work for MTV,” said Liz Gateley, SVP MTV Series Development. “Brody is the perfect fit for this concept -- he is type of guy everyone wants to hang out with and we’re excited to further solidify our long-standing relationship with him that started with ‘The Hills.’”

“From ‘Superbad’ and ‘Wedding Crashers’ to ‘Entourage,’ pop culture is filled with numerous examples of unabashed male bonding. As every guy knows, close male friendships aren't just a quirky television plotline or a running gag in the movies. ‘Bromance’ is the first reality series to fully explore the essence of these life-long friendships,” said Ryan Seacrest, executive producer.

“I am eager to have the opportunity to work with Liz Gateley, Tony DiSanto, Ryan Seacrest and MTV, and produce a series that is unique and will resonate with audiences everywhere,” said Brody Jenner. “Working as a producer on ‘Bromance’ will give me the opportunity to exert my knowledge in a creative forum as well as strengthen my existing relationship with a paramount network such as MTV.”

Ryan Seacrest, Brody Jenner and Eric Podwall will serve as the Executive Producers of “Bromance”. Eliot Goldberg, Jason Henry and Kathy Sutula are co-executive producers. Jason Henry and Kathy Sutula are co-creators. Frankie Delgado is a producer. Maira Suro and Lauren Dolgen are MTV executives overseeing the production.

EXCLUSIVE: Today I Chatted With Tori Spelling

On the brink of the 3rd season of her Oxygen-hosted reality show "Tori & Dean," the former (and perhaps re-appearing) Donna Martin shared some words about what to expect this season. I don't watch the show (duh), but I was digging much deeper, for like actual juice. I asked her about the current relationship she has with her mom Candy, and if Mama Spelling would indeed be making an appearance on the show this season. Tori blatantly ignored the question about the status between her mom and she, and in a cold-mannered tone, responded, "No, no, there will be no family appearing on my show. After all my family drama portrayed in the media, at this point, having anyone in my family appear would only seem like a gimmick to get people to watch." (ala Dina Lohan, perhaps??... hmmm....)

She also mentioned that her son Liam loves the camera and hubby Dean chimed in, saying Liam is "a pro."

She's stoked about appearing on the 90210 spinoff and says she owes everything to the original show and all of it's fans. She doesn't know if Donna and David are still married (so it looks like you'll have to tune in to find out [dun dun dun...]).

Lastly, there's nothing she regrets about publishing her tell-all book, "sTORI TELLING," and Jennie Garth is the only original 90210 cast member who she gave a copy to.

-Exclusive photo Copyright The Platinum Pen-