The New 90210 is a Classless Skankfest and Tori Spelling is a Lying Famewhore

I once again hate talking about the stupid 90210 2.0. It like bothers me inside my heart. It kills me, in fact. And the more I hear about it, the more upset I get. I wish Aaron Spelling were still alive so he could put a ban on this crap. It's tearing me apart. And there is yet one more thing to add to my anticipated hatred. Entertainment Weekly posted a pretty interesting interview with former foes and co-stars Shannen "GOD" Doherty and Jennie Garth. The best bitch we knew and loved appears to have cleaned up her act. Now she's like all mature and shit, and that makes me upset. I miss the cigarrette-smoking, bitch-slapping, trash-talking, Rick Solomon-marrying Doherty. Not this proper, well-behaved, soft spoken chick. Who is the girl anyway?

But anyway, Doherty and Garth revealed some skankalicious 411 about the premiere of the 90210 remake. And this scandalousness is shit that wouldn't even appear in an ep of Melrose Place for crying out loud.

"All I know is there's a girl giving a guy a blowjob in the first episode," says Doherty.

"I thought, Aaron Spelling is rolling over in his grave right now," Garth reacts.

And EW also gets to the nitty gritty of Tori Spelling's not-so-best-selling memoir which I saw sitting on a table next to a rack carrying the Lauren Conrad Collection at the Kitson outlet store only two months after publication. So sad.

EW says, "In Tori Spelling's book sTORI Telling, she tells some pretty harsh stories about you, Shannen. Did you read the book?"

And the newly mature Doherty responded all properly, saying, "I will censor myself out of respect for Jennie because she's friends with Tori. I got passages sent to me and a vast majority of it is incredibly exaggerated. Maybe it's a difference of how I was raised. I just don't believe you write personal on-set experiences in a book. For me, when you work it's almost a sacred experience whether you get along with everyone or not. In 27 years of acting I've never sold out one of my cast members. Ever. And I will stick to that."

Tori is pathetic. We all know she was a bitch of her own right in those days. But she felt like selling out her former co-stars was a good way to make a buck. Note to Tori: nobody cares about your stupid book or the stupid drama you have to recount by living vicariously through people who had a far more exciting life than you!

My Hero Shannen Graces This Week's Cover of UsWeekly!!!

Janice Min's famed celeb tabloid took a break from the Speidi sagas and finally decided to place an icon on it's cover!!! I have nothing more to say except that I want to murder the new 90210, but I am thrilled that at least it's giving my idol Shannen Doherty the exposure she still deserves. I am the hugest 90210 fan on the planet and I always will be. Nobody loves her/Brenda more than myself, and I proudly and confidently state this.

Shannen's probably pissed that she has to share a cover with a newbie like Carrie Underwood. [snooze]. Shannen should have been granted the entire cover. Nobody in the world is worth sharing the Goddess of television's space!--well, except maybe Jason Priestley. He's kinda the effing sh*t!

The Full-Length Britney Spears OK! Interview

Remember yesterday, when I posted about the preview of Britney's OK! magazine interview--her first in two years? And remember when I said based on the preview, I think I'd rather read National Geographic's "Panda of the Year" issue? Well, folks, I lied. Eff reading NG, I'd rather watch grass grow then have to read this boring-ass interview again. Seriously, talk about a total snoozefest. I mean yeah, she sounds "healthy" in this interview, but all those damn sedatives she's on have really taken away any ounce of personality she had left. But I'll tell ya what, I'll let you judge for yourself. Here's the full OK! magazine Britney Spears August 2008 interview:

What’s a typical day for you with Preston and Jayden?

Well, when I have my children, I’ll get up and make them pancakes.

Blueberry or plain?

Plain pancakes, with sausages. Then we’ll go outside and take a walk. Then I like to do something physical with them, like swimming. Nap time is 1-3pm, and then I’ll read to them.

What do you read?

The Berenstain Books, and anything with cars in it, too.

Are they both into cars?

Yes, big time. I’ve watched the Cars movie nine million times.

What are some of the games you like to play with the boys?

We don’t really play games. We love to read books and do artwork. And they’re outside a lot in their little cars.

Do you sing to the boys?

I do. I actually wrote a song for my new album about them called “My Baby”. It’s a real beautiful song.

Do the boys sing?

Yes. I’ll start, and they’ll join in.

Have you taught them to swim?

They both jump in the water. Well, JJ almost jumps in. Preston will jump in, and then JJ thinks he can but then he jumps to me and screams, ‘mommy, mommy, mommy,’ the whole time.

Do the boys share a room here?

They have separate rooms upstairs by my room.

Are the boys getting into how they look?

Preston is. He wants his shirt and shoes. He’ll tell me what he wants to wear.

What are you doing for their birthdays?

I want to have a traditional party, a joint party for both of them. I have some friends with kids who I am going to invite. There will probably be about 15 or 20 of us. There is going to be homemade ice cream. Probably my dad will make that. We’ll have the jumpers and bouncers.

How do you feel about your boys getting into the entertainment business?

If they want to do it, and if they are talented enough, I would support them. But they’d have to express an interest on their own.

Would you like to see them pursue it?

I’d rather not, but I’d love them unconditionally if they wanted to. I’d just as soon they have a more normal childhood.

Do you cook a lot?

I do. Usually, the maid and I will cook together.

What’s your house specialty?

I love rice and baked chicken. We’ll cook that together, and the kids love my spaghetti. I think for some reason they like my spaghetti better than what they have at their dad’s house.

What’s special about Mom’s spaghetti?

I think it’s my sauce. I make it with love, and I make it from scratch.

Alright– recipe time. We all want to know.

I can’t share my secret with you. But it just takes me about an hour.

Do you watch much television?

Actually I don’t. I’m so busy. And when the kids are here, I like them to be outside doing things or we’re reading together.

What about How I Met Your Mother, the show you appeared on twice?

No. I just don’t watch TV. We get a movie every now and then.

Can you go to the movies?

Sometimes I do. We just went to see Mamma Mia. I thought it was kind of silly. I saw Hancock, which I loved.

Besides taking care of the boys, what’s most important to you?

Recording. Going into the studio.

Do you still do your own housework?

Oh yes. I get mad if the maid does all the work. If she takes it all into her own hands, well, what’s there for me to do? I’m a cleaning fanatic. Dusting is my favorite, and Windex-ing.

Have you always been that way?

Yes, since I was littler. I was brought up by my mama cleaning the house all the time.

What are you listening to now?

I really like Rihanna. I think she’s great. And the girl Duffy. I think she’s amazing. I like the new Madonna CD. I like Leona Lewis too.

Will you see Madonna in concert?

Yes, in November when she’s here in LA.

What are your fashion must haves?

My True Religion jeans. I love them so much. That’s what I have on. They’re so comfortable they are almost like sweats. They fit like a glove.

Whats your relationship like with your mom these days?

It’s really, really good. I went through a stage in high school when it wasn’t so good, but now I’m at a stage where I really appreciate her a lot more.

What’s your relationship like with your dad these days?

It’s really good.

How was it visiting your sister Jamie Lynn when she had her baby Maddie?

That was special, but it was also strange because she’s always been the baby, and now the baby was having a baby. It was mind-boggling. I was shocked a little bit. But it was really cool, and she was happy. When she got to the hospital, we all thought it was going to be an all day thing, and instead, the baby just popped out. Okay, we’re happy now!

Will you visit again soon?

She’s going to come out here for the kids’ birthdays. It will be the first time the cousins meet. I’m sure the boys will be like big brothers to Maddie.

Tell us about the new album.

I think it is more urban. I’m working with producers who are just amazing. It’s Harvey Mason of The Underdogs. There is this fresh new energy.

Have you ever written that much of an album before?

Never this much. I’m writing every day, right here at the piano in this living room.

What do you want to say with this album?

That this is my best work ever.

That’s a very ambitious undertaking. What will make it the best?

Hard work, I guess.

Is the album going to seem more grown up than your previous work?

Definitely. The image factor to it is a little bit older, too. The videos will be very different.

When is it coming out?

In the next six to nine months.

You received great reviews for your appearances on How I Met Your Mother. Do you want to do more acting?

I’d love to, if I can find the right movie.

Is there anything in the works?

Actually, I have a part that just came up. We’re just trying to work it out with my schedule, with the children.

Could you imagine yourself getting into fashion design?

If I had the right team around me, definitely. We’re looking into it, it could happen. Probably women’s clothes first and then go into children’s.

How would you make your line stand out?

I’d want it to be original. I’d probably come up with themes, like an 80’s theme.

Where do you see yourself career wise, going out many years from now?

I want to have a lot of amazing albums under my belt, and some great movie roles.

What do you want your fans to know about where you are at right now?

I’m healthy, happy, and excited about the future.

No Couture Ruined in the Process of Britney's First Magazine Interview in Two Years

Looks like Spearsy's talkin again--and not in a British accent. OK! magazine (you know, the pub that officiated the singer's meltdown after she conducted an interview with them a ways back, in which she ruined 2 of the couture gowns they provided for her photo shoot) has landed the sorta-reformed trainwreck's first magazine interview since the one they tried to conduct with her two years ago.

And when you're on as many anti-depressants and sedatives as Spears, you can only expect a boring, by-the-book Q & A. Yeah, the preview of this interview makes a copy of National Geographic's "Panda of the Year" issue look mighty juicy. Jamie Spears offers some interesting words about the new life he has with his daughter, but that's about it. This is very dry and G-rated. And of course the adorable photos of my favorite celebuspawns Sean Preston and Jayden James provide a worthwhile touch.

Issue is on newsstands today. Be sure to pick up your boring copy.

Take That, Skanky Cyrus!

A picture may typically be worth a thousand words, but in this case, maybe just four. But those four words surely say enough. And in tween-land, this photo is definitely making headlines.

In response to that horrendus YouTube vid in which Miley Cyrus and her skankalicious BFF Mandy Jiroux proceed to mock Selena Gomez and her BFF Demi Lovato, it appears Kevin Jonas, brother of Cyrus' ex-bf Nick, is making it clear which side he reps. I don't really care about these Jonas kids, but I will say, this tee is priceless! Nice work, pal.

And this tee follows not only the YouTube dramz, but the recent publishing of an interview with Seventeen magazine in which Cyrus tells the mag she and Nick "were in love for 2 years" and she may "end up marrying Nick Jonas."

Something tells me she'll take a hint after seeing this! Bad karma, biaaaatch!

Love Magazines? Hate Payin For Em'?

One of the best sites on the web has just emerged. It's called Mygazines and it allows you to browse through all of your favorite magazines--without paying a dime! I hate standing at the checkout line at the grocery store and feeling pressured to rush through a mag issue, as I scramble through the pages all hurriedly just trying to get to one particular story. 

Now, I can view the content I want, whenever I want, for free and at my own leisure! Mygazines allows you to browse through past and present issues of magazines, while skipping through the lame ads and being able to zoom into the page's photos so that you can view the quality just as you would in a hardcopy magazine. And all of this is done from the convenience of your own home or bed or wherever it is you keep your computer.

And not only all this, but you can also create your own virtual mag on the site.

It's awesome!

In Case You Accidentally Slept Through the Weekend...

• A 19-year-old ho, desperate for attention, called into some Virginia radio station last week, publicly claiming that Chris Brown fathers her bastard child. The baby mama, a VA native named Michelle Gasper, cried hysterically to the station, saying she and Brown dated for two years back in 2003, and that he helped her conceive her now 4-year-old son when she was 14 years old. She also told the station that Brown's mom Joyce Hopkins, was paying the teen off from day one, to keep her silent. She says she decided to come forth all this time later because she wants Brown in her child's life to play a fatherly role--AKA wants to take advantage of her supposed baby daddy's fame and $. 

• In "thrilling" couples' news, Lindsay Lohan and her short-haired lova Samantha Ronson are supposedly due to wed later this year. Apparently Dina Lohan is doing all the wedding planning, and Lilo is reportedly in the process of shopping for a white Chanel mini. And on that note: I find it funny that everyone makes such a shocking deal of this whole Lilo/SamRo business, when doesn't anyone remember all those myspace messages from last year when Lohan's account was hacked? This whole "love" and "marriage" thing is really no new news in the duo's life.

• The ground shook yesterday--and not from an aftershock from last Tuesday's earthquake. But by the posting of the cover of the Brangelina twins issue of People magazine. I know, just a cover. And not really much of a revealing one. But apparently, the 19-page spread of the saintly family, including twins, will be featured in the magazine's issue that hits newsstands today. A $15 million spread, might I add.

Is In Touch Weekly the New Star Magazine?

For years it has been known that Star magazine isn't exactly the most reliable of sources when it comes to celebrity "journalism," if that's what you want to consider it. The then-newspaper-like publication used to sit alongside The National Enquirer in newsstands. But Star has reinvented itself within the past couple years, and is now one of the more frequently read tabloids. Still, however, the mag is unanimously known for lots of false reporting.

In wake of big celeb tabloids Us Weekly, OK!, and long-running People reaching the realms of pop-culture within the last 4 or 5 years, other tabloids In Touch and Life & Style hopped on the bandwagon with celebrity gossip pubs of their own. Each likes to claim it's reports are true, but very rarely do these "news" outlets report accurate information. Or at least, not all of them do.

In Touch, the same mag that broke the highly-publicized-yet-false "news" back in November '07 that Britney Spears was carrying JR Rotem's baby, has been caught in two more major examples of false reporting--in just this week alone. One of these situations may even get the mag sued.

Yesterday, the mag's website announced that Vicky's Secret model Miranda Kerr and boytoy Orlando Bloom had called it quits, even going as far as to claim Miranda was spotted making out with Firecrotch-coiner Brandon Davis. Today, Kerr's parents fire back at reports, saying, "Miranda and Orlando have never been closer and are happier right now more so than ever. He's meeting her in Paris next week."

Then today, the mag posted an "exclusive interview" with a woman named Chaton Anderson, who the mag quotes as saying she met John Mayer and that he said his current relationship status was "vague," and that he didn't mention anything about Jennifer Aniston whatsoever. The mag continued with other so-called "quotes," including inferences that Mayer was getting flirty with this woman. Anderson fired back immediately, telling Us Weekly exclusively that she "met John a year ago" and "doesn't understand why [In Touch] would say it was this year." Anderson tells the mag she is considering taking legal action on In Touch, saying this fabricated story is "humiliating."

It looks to me like In Touch is getting itself prepared for a seat on the throne of shady journalism.

Seventeen Magazine Reminds Fat Girls That Lane Bryant is the Only Denim Line That Will Fit Them

As one of my favorite blogs, Jezebel, points out, Seventeen's latest mag issue (you know--the one with an utmost unflattering photo of Blake Lively adorning the cover) shoots down overweight women by listing different denim lines and the sizes they would wear in those lines, depending on your waist and hips. Well, the mag has no problem pointing out (see above) the fact that these jeans won't fit just anyone. Check out the "Sorry! They don't come in this size!" part of the chart. Gawd, why even bother listing them at all? Oh, that's right. Seventeen readers couldn't possibly be fat!

Mizz Na'Tasha Lands Mag Spread

Natasha Salim AKA Mizz Na'Tasha AKA Kimposter actually landed a gig that didn't include conning people into thinking she was an A-List Armenian Reality-star. She is featured in this month's issue of Smooth magazine, displaying an ever-large set of T&A. Guess that comes with Kimmy K. imposter territory. Salim claims to be currently studying Forensic Psychology, stating that she eventually plans to transfer to Columbia University to study *Entertainment Law* (yeah, I thought it was ironic, too)

People Magazine's Hottest Bachelors of 2008: Where Do They Come Up With These People?!

Ignore his umm...package for a sec. I know, it's difficult, but anyway, Mario Lopez was voted "Hottest Bachelor of 2008" by People magazine. Okay, Mario Lopez, fine. Good looking guy, in great shape (obvi), charming I'm sure. But once you see the *other* names on this so-called "hottest" list, you won't be the least surprised that Lopez was the winner--in fact, you'll be grateful.

It makes me sad to thank I am living in a world where Frankie Delgado (who the eff cares?!), Bret Michaels, Bryan Spears (?)--who knew the trainwreck had a BROTHER? (Okay, we all knew. but still, does anyone even know enough about him to even CARE if he's a bachelor?--and to call him one of the hottest???), some tennis player I've never heard of named James Blake, and Scarlett Johanasson's unknown brother--just to name a few, are all listed as the "Hottest Bachelors of 2008"

Amongst the Ryan Seacrests and Shia Le Bouefs of the world, I *know* this magazine could have done a little better.

Sounds to me like the mag has $$ deals with some very unimportant people.

LC's Friend Count Drops...Again

Oh the dramz. I’ll report this as though it is actually true, but given all The Hills publicity stunts (on and off cam), I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore.

Either way, apparently it’s splitsville for the item known as LC and Audrina. Considering Audrina auditioned for her role as apartment-neighbor-turned-pal in the faux-ality show, it is no surprise that this forced “friendship” has come to an end.

It was reported yesterday that LC came home recently to find professional photogs surrounding Audrina and her (gasp!) room, preparing for a photo shoot for OK! Magazine. LC, being the jealous diva she is, apparently went ballistic, and now Audrina is speaking out to OK! exclusively about what happened.

"She was very, very, very mad," explains Audrina in the interview.

"She said it’s her house. But this is my room. I said, 'We’re not taking pictures of your house — don’t be rude.' It just adds to the tension. Now she thinks I’m sneaky and shady for doing this photo shoot, yet she and her team knew about it. She won’t let it go."

To Any Virgins That Are Still Out There...J4G Wants You To *Think* You're Not Alone

There's a new magazine on the block. And you can even request free copies! The catch? It's an abstinence mag. And after scrolling through the online pages of the publication, it seems like more of an anti-relationship, anti-anything-physical-at-all mag. Quite entertaining if you ask me! What's even cooler? One section of the mag is solely for the ladies, and then if you flip the thing over, you have the section dedicated to the guys. For more info, or to stock up the goody bags for your next church party, click here