Kimmy K Pulls a J-Lo; Doesn't Pull it Off--While Khloe K Still Looks Like a Man

It was an unfortunate day for the Kardashian klan, who came out to Project Beach House in Malibu for McDonalds' 40th bday this past weekend (celebratin 40 years of heart disease. woot!). Kimmy from Da Block--err...I mean Valley... donned this Puerto Rican-vibed get-up, and I have to say, as much as I worship this Goddess, this look just isn't my favorite.

And speaking of unfavorable looks, it comes as no surprise that Kim's sis Khloe looks horrendus--especially as she stands there hovering over Lauren Conrad. LC doesn't care as long as ya keep fillin up that drink she's got in hand. And remember my Khloe K. bikini posting from the other day? Yup, once again, everyone is in a bathingsuit (of sorts) except for Khloe. I'm still waiting for someone to send me a freakin photo of Khloe in a bikini. I told you, I will have a special *prize* for the first person who sends!!!

Finding a Photo of Khloe Kardashian in a Bikini is About as Likely as Finding a Photo of Sienna Miller Not in a Topless One

Try typing "Khloe Kardashian in a Bikini" in google. See image above! Only 22 results. And what's funnier? Those 22 results are in fact mislabeled. I clicked on them only to find that the photos are actually of Kourtney and Kim, not Khloe and Kim. So what do we learn from this? Khloe Kardashian is ashamed of being the fatty sister--OR she really is a man!

I have a special prize for the first Platinum Pen reader who emails me a (non-photoshopped) photo of the lesser attractive Kardashian wearing a bikini.

In Case Your Internet Connection Was Down Over the Weekend...

• DMX has been arrested for sixth time in three months--yes, you read that correctly. What was the cause this time around? Identity left. Arrested in Phoenix, Arizona, the rapper allegedly used a fake name and Social Security number to avoid paying a $7,500 medical bill back in April.
• Khloe Kardashian joined Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan on the list of celebs (or sister of a celeb) who managed to turn a 30-some-odd-day jail sentence into a mere one-hundred-some-odd (or less) minutes. HAHAHA and to think Paris Hilton actually had to rock a pinstripe jumpsuit for a whopping three weeks. Oh, the tragedies...
• Shannen Doherty will officially be reprising her role as the greatest TV character of all time--Brenda Walsh--on the new 90210. I mentioned before that she was in talks with the producers to possibly do so, but it appears now the Queen has signed on the dotted line to take back her seat on her television throne. Doherty will return to direct West Beverly High's school musical. Whoop-dee-freakin-doo, right? But who cares, as long she's getting screen time!
• Britney Spears makes her first red (or in this case, blue) carpet event appearance in...what seems like....ever? And even krayzier? She actually looks relatively normal in photos from the event. Normal, but numb. All those sedatives do a damn good job of keeping her emotionless.
  

Adrienne Bailon and Kim Kardashian--Always Gorgeous...And Then There's Khloe...

Two of the Kardashian sisters avec brother Robert Jr.'s adorable girlfriend, Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon, graced the Red Carpet last night for the Matt Leinart 2008 Annual Celebrity Bowling Night on Thursday in Hollywood.

While Kimmy and Adrienne appear to be busy making love to the camera, Khloe's mind is probably pre-occupied with thoughts of jail--something she will face today for failing to complete her required alcohol classes and community service stemming from her March 2008 DUI.